“You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes. Well, you just might find, you get what you need.”
Rolling Stones
You can’t always please everyone. I am reminded of that on a regular basis when it comes to this newsletter. While I generally write about topics in sales and sales leadership, I try to introduce other ideas that are important such as mental wellness, community building, and career guidance. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this makes some people upset.
Take last week’s newsletter for example. I hosted a talk on Clubhouse, the audio-only social network that is taking the world by storm. I made mention of this here and apparently this offended some readers. I was simply testing the platform as a space where we as a community can eventually host regular talks again. But I am now a terrible person for excluding people not privileged enough to have an invite or an iOS device.
Criticism is expected if you do anything mildly interesting and find success. The folks sitting in the bleachers feel entitled to share their hot takes. However I do my best not to take it personally and to instead view all comments without judgment. It gives me that extra spark to improve and work even harder.
I remember back in my Siebel days when I had this one customer at an investment bank who was always on my back. I could do nothing right in her eyes. One time she called me a bait and switcher in front of an entire room of bank executives. I would dread our monthly customer stakeholder calls, but really I dreaded every week, because there was always an email or call from her that felt like an excuse to tear me a new one.
As painful as this experience was, it would have been even worse if I did not understand the magic of a single word. It was the reset button that allowed me to push back on the more outrageous requests and demands. Even when she would threaten to not pay maintenance fees or call our CEO or suggest legal would get involved, I could undercut her posturing and bring balance to the relationship. That one word is “No”.
We learn the word “no” as one of our very first words. My mother seems convinced that it was actually my first word. In any case, as a young child, you can already sense the power of the word when it sends parents in a tailspin and destroys all resolve.
Now just saying “no” is usually not sufficient in an adult professional conversation. Instead of a straight up “no”, I might say, “No, I am sorry that I cannot do that” or “I apologize, but that is simply not possible”. It still has the effect of stopping the pile on, but it frames it in the language of empathy. The “no” is clear, but in a wrapper of politeness.
I would pause for a prolonged silence after delivering this line to gauge her reaction. Sometimes she would repeat her demand, and I would simply repeat my response. She would then ask why, and I provide a clear reason. She would continue to press forward, and I would reply with, “How do you expect I go about doing what you asked?”
Regardless of how much back and forth happened, the position never changed. I stood my ground and made it clear that her demand was not something my company would entertain. This is not to say we said no to everything, but there were things requested that simply made no business sense or would cause long-term damage to the trust our customers have in us.
There will be many times in our sales careers where we will be pressured into unreasonable demands. It could be price discounts that go well beyond what other customers have received or requiring certain clauses that impact the business in the long-term such as agreeing to termination for convenience or most favored pricing clauses. Maybe it is certain product requests or a desire to move the priority of certain features to the front of the queue. Your company have its own “no-go’s”.
No is not always the only or best response. Sometimes there are situations when a third option could work. For example, a critical feature not on the roadmap could be added for additional cost or a termination for convenience clause can have monetary penalties attached for exiting a contract early. When you can present an alternative option, it turns the direct “no” into a “we cannot do that, but what if we did this”.
Being customer obsessed as we are at Amazon does not mean that we always do what customers say. It means we serve the interests of our customers by thinking how our customers can succeed in the long-term. This allows us to earn trust and have the opportunity to help our customers invent and simplify when they are ready to move or build more in the cloud. This was the thinking that drove us to accelerate the cost optimizations engagements we performed during the pandemic to help our customers better manage their cash reserves through an extended economic downturn.
Whether you are delivering a “no” or a “no, but”, the point is that we as sales professionals are not here to please our customers. We are here to serve their needs. There is a subtle difference here. When you serve to please, you focus on being liked, putting you in the friend zone. When you serve needs, you focus on delivering value and creating business impact. Aiming to please never works because you will simply be batted around like a puppet.
“Feels do not equal deals.”
The ability to have a backbone in sales is an underrated and underappreciate trait. By establishing boundaries in what is acceptable, you build trust and credibility. Your customer will come to depend on your guidance because they see you as an honest broker and knowledgeable advisor.
On another topic, many of you have asked me what happened to the Enterprise Sales Forum? For six years, we would host monthly events in chapters across the world. But since the end of last year, the events have stopped. As I reached out and listened to your feedback, the response was that people were fatigued with virtual events. But more surprisingly, many of you questioned what the Enterprise Sales Forum even stood for anymore.
At the beginning of this year, I decided to restructure the team. I am taking on full stewardship for our community to advance our vision to elevate the state of B2B sales and raise the bar on the professionalism of our industry. This is a community however, and I cannot do this alone. I need your input, participation, and active involvement.
This will start with the launch of our events on a twice a week basis on Clubhouse every Monday and Friday at 5 PM EST. Yes, I know that will exclude some of you now, but that will only be temporary once the app opens up and they release an Android version of the app.
My ask of you is this…if you have a Clubhouse account and want to be a speaker or co-host, I would love for you to be involved. If being a speaker interests you, but you do not have a Clubhouse account (and have an iOS device), I have a limited number of invites to provide. Just email me at mark@esfsales.com and let me know how you want to be involved, whether to speak or to co-host the show.
Thanks again and look forward to having you join us for the first regular show on Clubhouse next week!
Mark Birch, Founder of the Enterprise Sales Forum
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Great article Mark. Glad to see you aren't letting the haters bring you down
Thanks Mark. Also known as “the price of nice”.